Pride and Prejudice

In 2005 I lived in Thailand, volunteering at an orphanage.  In the town of Khon Kaen it was very hard to find English books...well, anything in English was hard to find for that matter!  

One day in a tiny bookstore, while looking through stacks of books, I found a delightful paperback copy of Pride and Prejudice.  I was so excited!  Not only did I finally find an English book to read, I had just purchased my very first copy of Pride and Prejudice.  I was in a state of complete joy and happiness. 

Years later, while living in a small town outside of Chicago, some friends were over my apartment, when someone quoted Miss Austen incorrectly!  My friend Bailey knew the correct quote and stated that if she had a copy of Pride and Prejudice she would prove it.  So I went to my bookshelf and pulled out my copy.  

We laughed as she looked at my tiny copy of the book.  "Where in the world did you find this?  This is not adequate at all."

Months later when I moved to North Carolina, on the day I was all packed up and ready to pull out of town, Bailey handed me a gift.  

A beautiful, hardback copy of Pride and Prejudice that was published in 1963.  It came with a letter telling me that since my copy of this wonderful book just wouldn't do she decided to give me hers.  

Tears stung my eyes at her thoughtful gesture. 

This past weekend I was in a store, window shopping.  I wasn't expecting to buy anything, just having fun going from shop to shop.  I wandered into a store, and on display were some beautiful books, they were hardback with cute little dust jackets in different patterns.  Mostly florals and prints, all ready for spring.  

I glanced at the top cover and was completely surprised to discover it was a copy of Pride and Prejudice!  I bought it and returned home thinking, “Did I really just buy this book because it's cute?” 

But the answer is no...I didn't buy it because it's cute.  

I bought it because for some reason holding a copy of Pride and Prejudice make me feel like I'm home. 

A familiar story, with words that bring comfort to my heart.  Personal connections to the book from places I've lived all over the world.  Memories of happy times and friends so dear.

A good book is more than it seems.

Beloved

Linking up with Lisa-Jo for another Five Minute Friday post.  I love these posts!  She gives one word and we set a timer and write for 5 minutes.  No edits, just words from the soul.

Todays word:  Beloved.

Ready, Set. Go.

Bare feet.  Dark hair.  Beautiful eyes.

Bare feet running on grass, jumping over bushes, sliding on tile sidewalks.

Little boys with their shaved heads, Little girls with their dark hair up in several pony tails, adding little bows and clips.

Eyes that laugh.  Eyes that feel hurt.  Eyes that see where they are and wonder if they are loved.  Eyes that cry.  Eyes that love.

I wanted to scoop them up and tell them "You are loved!  You are so important!  I am proud of you!  I know you will do great things one day!  Don't give up, little one, you are LOVED!"

Though we didn't speak the same language, we did speak the same language.  The language of the heart.  With hugs and smiles and I scooped them up and tickled them until they couldn't help but explode with laughter.  Played games and held hands.  Chalk drawings on cement and dancing in the moonlight.

My feet bare, just like theirs.

My dark hair braided and up in lots of little ponytails, just like theirs.

My eyes shining with smiles and laughter, tears and hope.  Eyes that look where I am and wonder if I am wanted and loved.

That's when I feel Him bend low to scoop me up and tell me "You are loved!  You are so important!  I am proud of you!  I know you will do great things one day!  Don't give up, little one, you are LOVED!"

Stop.

Thanks for stopping by today.  I hope you take 5 minutes to write today, too.

-Tiff

Five Minute Friday: Awake

I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo. She calls it "Five Minute Friday" and we just write...without worrying if it’s just right or not.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. We let our mind and our words and our heart fly free; wild – no editing, no over thinking.

Today's topic: Awake.

Ready? Set? Go.

In the winter snow covers the ground in a blanket of white as the earth sleeps. Quietly waiting for the light and breath of spring.

I look out my bedroom window almost every morning to see the sky as the sun comes up, bold and beautiful. Wondering what the day will hold, what I will do, think and feel.

Not so long ago my soul was awakened by a trip to Thailand and the opportunity to serve others instead of myself.

Loving kids at an orphanage and separation from all things familiar forced my soul awake, no longer sleeping under the blanket of white.

After that trip so many things in me were forever changed. I look out the window as snow quietly falls...

Stop.

Five Minute Friday: Roar

Written Friday, January 6th, 2012

The first Friday of the new year. I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo. She calls it "Five Minute Friday" and we just write...without worrying if it’s just right or not.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. We let our mind and our words and our heart fly free; wild – no editing, no over thinking.

Today's topic: Roar.

Ready? Set? Go.

I haven never touched a lion's mane or sat next to one. I have never been face to face with a lion and listen to it roar. But I have been that close to a tiger! When I was in Thailand I visited "Tiger Kingdom" where they have tigers of all different ages in huge cages. The cages are so big...when you step inside you don't feel like you are even in a cage. It was like they each had their own little jungle.

We would walk right up to the door of the cage and they would let me walk right in. With only a Thai guide holding a tiny bamboo stick as protection. Yes, you read that correctly, I walked into a cage that was home to a real, live tiger with nothing for protection except an Asian guide holding a stick.

They let you pet the tigers and lay on them and take pictures. I've always loved tigers. They look so mysterious and majestic and beautiful, I was so excited to see one up close. I was with a small group and I was the last one to walk up to the tiger. He was sitting there so peaceful and quiet.

I walked up behind him and all of a sudden I was really nervous. I began thinking "What if this tiger freaks out and attacks me?" I looked around the cage trying to make a plan of escape...just in case. I took a deep breath and inched closer and knelt down behind him. Now I was scared out of my mind! "What was I thinking?" "Why am I sitting next to a TIGER?!"

Everyone was looking at me and taking my picture and telling me to pet the tiger and lay my head down on him. But I just couldn't. The thoughts just kept raging in my mind. "What if... What if... What if..."

So what did I do sitting next to that tiger? I prayed for protection. And then I reached out my hand to do the thing I was most afraid of in that moment. After a few minutes the tiger whipped his tail up and smacked me in the face with it! I was frozen as I felt the sting on my face. What do I do now? I looked over at the Thai guide. He just laughed. The tiger wanted to play!

It's like that a lot in life. We begin adventures with excitement and soon we let fear slip in and it can paralyze us so much that we forget what we were doing in the first place. No roar, just fear.

Lift up your fears to God. He can handle it. And He can give you peace while He helps you work through it and move past it. He created us to do so many things...not to walk around paralyzed by fear.

Stop.

Thanks for spending five minutes with me today.
-Tiff

Don't ever forget us

Written Friday, July 16th, 2011

I will miss Thailand. How the air smells like spices. How everyone greets you with the "wai". How the days go by slower. I will miss the spicy food and all the unique fruits.

But more than any of that, I will miss the people, I have made many friends here.

On Sunday in Phetchabun, Dtoi asked me why I came back to Thailand. "Because I missed all of you." I said.

"We missed you," he said, "And I prayed that you would remember us and come back one day, and you did. Don't ever forget us."

I looked at him and said "Never. I could never forget you. And I will come back."

I meant every word with all of my heart. I will never forget my friends in Thailand. I will leave Thailand today, but everyday I will think of them and pray for them.

And I will go back again. One day, because I know I will miss them too much not to.

-Tiff

A present in my pocket

Monday, July 12th
Phetchabun, Thailand
Phrae, Thailand

Today we woke up early and had breakfast with the kids. It was our last time, because we would be traveling to Phrae after the kids go off to school. I sat with Woot and his gang.



Every few minutes he was pointing the the pocket on my capris and saying something in Thai. I didn't understand the words he was saying, but I kept telling him that my pocket was empty. He was very insistent. (Just like when he told me there was a snake under my chair yesterday...and there really was!) Finally I decided to show him that my pocket was empty. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a little picture of Woot in his school uniform. He hid it in my pocket when I wasn't looking! On the back he wrote his name and "I love Tiff". I am really going to miss this kid!





I went back to the little boys house with them and sat in the school room as they recited all the posters on the wall. Days of the week, months of the year, English & Thai alphabet, numbers 1 - 100, and multiplication tables, all in English and Thai.

They prayed with Aon, their house mother, and then they got their backpacks and snack and headed out the door. We held hands and walked to the the school. (When I say "we" I mean me and all 12 little boys who lived in that house! I seriously needed more hands!)

Kids were coming up and giving me all kinds of little presents. Cards they made, school papers they got good grades on, little oragami papers and fans. They are all so sweet. Jeerawat and Dtoi gave me cards also. I could barely hold back the tears.



Woot, Santee, Jeerawat and Dtoi gave me one more hug and then headed up the path to school. At the last moment Woot turned around to wave before he turned the corner. I waved back and wished we didn't have to leave today.

After all the kids made their way to school we said goodbye to all the Thai and Australian volunteers and loaded up in the mini-busses for our trip to Phrae.







Phrae is a couple hours away from Phetchabun. We stopped half-way to have some lunch at a mall. Pad Thai - my absolute favorite! Maia and I surprised Jain by eating it "Thai Style" with fish sauce, chili's, peanuts, sugar and chopsticks.





We continued our drive to Phrae. I couldn't believe it when we got there. It looked so different! When I was here five years ago they were pouring cement and cutting down trees. It was still a dream that was just getting started. Now they had houses, a kitchen and dining room area, a laundry area, volunteer houses, two playground areas and a little swimming pool. Right now Ban Meata Phrae is only housing babies and toddlers. The oldest one they have right now is four years old. They are hoping to get a few more babies soon.







John and Sharon(Rob Dunk's daughter) gave us the history of Ban Meata Phrae and some dreams of what they want it to become. We split into two teams to accomplish more while we are here. The first team went to the local hospital to deliver care packages to the new mothers for their babies. Ban Meata likes to keep a good relationship with the hospitals so that if any mother decides she doesn't want or can't keep her baby the hospital staff can contact Sharon. The team was able to talk to the new mothers, deliver the care packages, and even see the new babies that were just born.

The second team began painting the first coat of bright orange paint on the fence around the swimming pool.



Jeremy went with John to town to get plants and fruit trees for the guys to plant tomorrow. They got so many! Again, a goal of Ban Meata is to be self-sufficient, so they have ponds full of fish and want to be able to have as many fruit trees as they can. They will eat the fruit and sell some at the markets.

For dinner we had Masaman Curry. It was so good!



A group of us went for a walk after dinner to Jain's house. It got dark very quickly. As we were walking I put my hand in my pocket, felt the little picture of Woot and smiled. A few hours away is a little boy that I love very much.


-Tiff

Last Day in Phetchabun

Sunday, July 11th
Phetchabun, Thailand

Today we got up early to eat breakfast with the kids, who were all still in their pajamas. After breakfast a bunch of the older kids began setting up chairs for church, since they use the same building.

I went with Woot and Ahm to the little boys house. While they took turns getting ready for church, I read books to them. They liked hearing what we were saying in English and then they would look at the pictures and translate it into Thai. Some of their books were written in English and Thai, so we would take turns reading in both languages.

When all the boys were ready, Aon, their housemother, made coffee for me and then put on a movie for all the boys to watch.

Church was awesome. Nelly played drums with the Thai band. A group of us (Nelly, Glenn, Amanda, Raven, Clarissa and I) sang for everyone and Jeremy was today's speaker with Jain interpreting. Jeremy talked about David and the fact that no one believed in him but he didn't give up, he followed his dreams.





It was really neat for me to see Santee play the drums and Dtoi sing during the service. I was so proud of those two boys!







The coolest part was when the band played "Mighty To Save". I could hear people singing it in Thai and English at the same time.

Carrie wanted everyone to see one of our songs, so we totally broke out "Supertones Strike Back". Then she told everyone in Thai that they had to stand up and do it with us...and they actually did! It was so fun to see everyone, not just the kids, dancing to the Supertones with us!

After church I gave Woot a bracelet I made for him. He absolutely loved it.



After lunch a bunch of us packed in to the back of Carries pickup and Diana and her husband took us to see the farm. One of the goals of Mercy International is to be self-sufficient, so they have started quite a large farm to provide food and income for the orphanages. They have a farm where they grow a lot of fruit trees and vegetables, they have a fish farm and a cattle farm with cows, goats and chickens. All three are doing quite well. They also have some rice fields, but it will be a few years before they are ready to plant rice.













When we got back Nonette and I spent some time playing some of the older girls. They wanted us to teach them how to play Skip-bo. They had the game, but no instructions in Thai. So we did our best to teach them how to play using our limited knowledge of Thai. They caught on really quick.

After dinner we had an ice cream party with the kids. We bought ice cream in Lomsak and brought a bunch of toppings with us that they absolutely loved. We played and danced with the kids until it was time for them to go to bed. I was so sad, because tomorrow we have to say goodbye to these kids. And I will really miss them.





















-Tiff

Saturday in Phetchabun

Saturday, July 10th
Phetchabun, Thailand

Today we started our day eating breakfast with the kids...no pancakes, toast or even cereal...in Thailand breakfast is served like any other meal. Rice with veggies, meat, even curry.

After breakfast the kids had a short prayer time together before they started chores.

Since the kids were doing chores we thought we would help out too. So we had little groups that picked weeds, painted, and did laundry. I was on Jeremy's group, picking weeds. It went really well until Santee and Godt started helping us...then somehow we all ended up at the lake having a rock skipping contest. :)

After chores we spent time playing with the kids before lunch. They like to play soccer, basketball and jacks. We also played American football, which they weren't really used to. Keith and I started playing football with some of the boys and it turned into playing monkey in the middle, which was really fun.







On Saturdays and Sundays after lunch until 3pm everyone has a quiet time. Some people read, sleep or watch movies. Our team met with Rob Dunk (founder of Mercy International) and he told us stories of some of the children. What their lives were like and how they ended up at Ban Meata. It was awesome to hear the stories and see how far these kids have come.

One kid, Dtoi, has come a long way, even since I met him 5 years ago. He was living in Khon Kaen with HIV. He made a game of catching bugs and slipping them into my pocket. Praying Mantis' were his favorite. He loved to sneak the praying mantis on my shoulder and then tap right next to it so I would turn my head and look right at it!

One day he was getting his blood taken at the hospital and they couldn't find any trace of the virus! He is now living in Phetchabun and is doing very well. Here is a picture of Dtoi and I today:



Today we had a program planned for the elementary school age kids. Nelly and I had planned the program earlier before we came to Thailand. During lunch Jeremy informed me that I was leading the program. I got so nervous! I have taught in front of lots of kids...but I have never had to use an interpreter before. Jain did a great job translating and the program went really well. The kids loved our games, songs and craft. We brought paint and they made 2 big murals to hang up. And they especially liked the goldfish crackers we brought for a snack.















After dinner we had a program for all the kids. We did songs, skits, a lot of games, and it was really fun. When we weren't on the stage we were sitting with the kids. I couldn't go anywhere without Woot, Jeerawat, Godt or Ahm. They are so sweet.

Jeerawat and I:



-Tiff

Phetchabun

Friday, July 9th
Phetchabun, Thailand

We left Khon Kaen early Friday morning and piled into three mini-busses. The ride was around four hours long and through beautiful countryside. We drove through mountains, in the jungle and through a national park.









Random food that I tried on the way to Phetchabun: spicy dried fish (the fish version of beef jerky) and dried oysters, compliments of Glen and Jain who actually enjoy those salty snacks.

Once we got to Ban Meata Phetchabun we ate lunch and met the Australian volunteers who run the children's home. The children's home in Phetchabun is a little different from the children's home in Khon Kaen. Khon Kaen is for children who are HIV positive and is in a large city so they can be close the hospital. The children go to a public school on the property next to the orphanage. Phetchabun is set up like a children's village with little houses and buildings in strategic places. The children live in the houses with kids their age and a house parent. They are all together for playtime and meals though.







The children at Phetchabun attend a Christian school that is run by Mercy International on the same Ban Meata property. It is called Meata Chanupatham Christian School.



The children who attend this school get a very good quality education and are taught English. It is open to anyone who wants to attend. Currently they have over 1,200 students, some of which are Buddhist.

We wanted to see the school, so at 3:30 we went to the school and then actually got on the song-theaw school busses with them to see where the kids who aren't a part of the orphanage live. Our team split up and about 4 of us got on each bus. Nelly, Omar and Mo and I were on the same bus. The kids had no idea what to do with 4 foreigners on their bus. For a while they just stared at us, so we decided to entertain them to break the ice. Nelly started doing little games and tricks with them. It was beyond awesome to see an entire bus of little Thai kids doing "the siren" with her! If you've been on Mexico outreach with Nelly before you know what I'm talking about! :) Some of the kids were showing Mo their homework, and I counted to 50 in Thai with a group of kids, which they thought was hilarious. But the highlight of the ride was folding paper with the kids. They taught us how to fold a piece of paper to make a really loud popper and Nelly made paper birds and space ships for them. I know it made their day.













These kids literally live out in the middle of no-where. Their houses were very simple, made of wood, and most of them built on stilts above the ground. Their houses are very small and their families don't have much at all, but that doesn't seem to matter at all here. They are still so happy.





After we returned from taking the kids home I went to find Wootipong. He is a little 9 year old boy who lives in Phetchabun that I knew when I was there five years ago. He was four years old then and was in Khon Kaen a lot to go to the hospital. Woot (that's his nickname) was born with a hole in his heart and had to go to the doctor a lot. Thankfully as he is growing up the hole is closing on it's own. I brought some pictures for him from five years ago. He got so excited to see them and remembered them being taken. He is a really sweet boy.



We ate dinner with the kids and then did a program for the teenagers. We did some skits and games and then made bracelets with them. The bracelets they were supposed to give away as a gift to a friend. The teenagers had a lot of fun with the program and being creative with the bracelets.





-Tiff